i jhust puked up my retainher.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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