Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
