READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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