The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
