WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
