He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
