There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She announced her abortion via fbk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
