like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
