i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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