just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
