Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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