mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Randomize
