I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
