i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize