ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
