I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
