I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
