North Korea, Best Korea!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
