I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
