I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize