do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
