Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
