Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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