well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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