actually, I'm a sock model
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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