Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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