well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
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Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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