hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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