I looked at my own cervix.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
