I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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