No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize