It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
