You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
