We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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