All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize