Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
