Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
