about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
