I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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