what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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