My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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