Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
