In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
