theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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