he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
