So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My ATM looks so different sober.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
