just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
