Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
