Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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