I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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