tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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