I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
