he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
