just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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