This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
