windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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