Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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