highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
